Dirty Joke of the Day: 50+ Hilariously Naughty Jokes

Everyone loves a good laugh, and sometimes a little bit of naughty humor can make your day even better! If you’re looking for some cheeky, dirty jokes to share with friends, you’re in the right place. These jokes are funny, risqué, and sure to spark some laughter.

50+ Dirty Jokes to Keep You Laughing

1. Classic Dirty Jokes

1. Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
2. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.
3. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we’re nuts!”
4. Why is Santa so good at karate? Because he has a black belt.
5. Why don’t witches wear underwear? Because they need better grip on their broomstick!

2. Dirty One-Liners

6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she gave me a hug.
7. My girlfriend told me to take off her bra… I didn’t know where to look for it.
8. A guy walks into a bar… and takes a seat next to a gorgeous woman. After some small talk, she says, “Do you want to hear a dirty joke?” He says, “Sure.” She leans in and whispers, “Take a shower.”
9. My wife caught me cheating – it’s my own fault, I should have remembered we share a Netflix account.
10. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date… chances are, you have small boobs.

3. Naughty But Fun Jokes

11. What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
12. What’s long and hard and full of… well, knowledge? A dictionary.
13. What’s the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
14. Why did the banana break up with the orange? Because it couldn’t handle the peelings.
15. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

4. Flirty and Playful Dirty Jokes

16. Roses are red, violets are fine… You be the six, and I’ll be the nine.
17. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.
18. Are we at the airport? Because my heart is taking off.
19. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.
20. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.

5. Double-Meaning Dirty Jokes

21. Why did the fisherman start a dating profile? Because he was great at net-working.
22. Why do women like Santa Claus? Because he comes once a year and only when they’re asleep.
23. What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms? Melt them down and make a tire… because that’s called a Goodyear!
24. Why did the man take his clock to bed? Because he wanted to have a good time.
25. What’s the difference between “Oooh” and “Aaaah”? About three inches.

6. Slightly Naughty Knock-Knock Jokes

26. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Boo.
    • Boo who?
    • Don’t cry, I’ll be gentle!
27. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Ben Dover.
    • Ben Dover who?
    • Ben Dover and let me give you a surprise!
28. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Olive.
    • Olive who?
    • Olive your clothes would look better on my bedroom floor!
29. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Anita.
    • Anita who?
    • Anita bigger bed if you’re staying over!
30. Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Harry.
    • Harry who?
    • Harry up and take your clothes off!

7. Funny & Dirty “Would You Rather” Jokes

31. Would you rather have great sex but never get to eat your favorite food again, or eat whatever you want but have terrible sex forever?
32. Would you rather be caught in the act by your parents or accidentally walk in on them?
33. Would you rather have a partner who never showers or one who never brushes their teeth?
34. Would you rather scream your ex’s name every time you get intimate or never be able to make a sound in bed again?
35. Would you rather only be able to talk dirty in Shakespearean English or sound like a robot when flirting?

8. Funniest Adult Jokes

36. I bought my wife a fridge… I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
37. How do you know if a man has a high sperm count? When you have to chew before swallowing.
38. Why don’t secrets stay secret in a hotel? Because the walls are paper-thin.
39. Why is your boyfriend like a microwave? He heats up fast but doesn’t last long.
40. What’s worse than your boyfriend forgetting your anniversary? When he remembers and still doesn’t get you anything.

9. Playful Bar Jokes

41. A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck in his pants. The bartender says, “Hey, buddy, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The guy says, “Yeah, it’s driving me nuts!”
42. A drunk man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, pour me a drink and make it dirty!” The bartender hands him a martini and whispers something nasty in his ear.
43. A couple walks into a bar… and ends up walking into the wrong bedroom!
44. A guy asks a bartender, “Do you have a menu?” The bartender says, “No, but I have plenty of options.”
45. A woman orders a drink and tells the bartender, “Make it strong, I need something to keep me up tonight.” The bartender winks and says, “I know just the thing.”

10. Dirty Dad Jokes

46. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
47. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
48. I used to date a baker… but she had too many buns in the oven.
49. I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
50. I used to play piano by ear… but now I use my hands.