Who doesn’t love a little bit of naughty humor? Whether you’re looking to lighten up a conversation or just need a laugh, these funny dirty jokes are sure to do the trick. They’re cheeky, witty, and guaranteed to put a smile on your face!
Short & Funny Dirty Jokes
- What’s long, hard, and full of… knowledge?
A book! - What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a really good year. - What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself?
A tearjerker. - What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping Tom?
One snatches watches, the other watches snatches. - Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry!
Cheeky & Playful Dirty Jokes
- Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
Because they’re a little shellfish! - What’s the best part about gardening?
Getting down and dirty. - What did one saggy boob say to the other?
“If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts!” - Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well. - What does one French fry say to the other when they’re in bed?
“Are you ketchup-ing my drift?”
Funny Dirty One-Liners
- Life’s like a penis… it’s short, but it seems long when it gets hard.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high… she looked surprised.
- Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
- Your secrets are safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
- Why do men like big butts? Because they cannot lie.
Hilarious Dirty Knock-Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
– Anita.
– Anita who?
– Anita bigger bed, this one’s too small! - Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
– Harry.
– Harry who?
– Harry up and get undressed! - Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
– Ben.
– Ben who?
– Ben thinking about you all night! - Knock, knock.
– Who’s there?
– Will.
– Will who?
– Will you take your clothes off already?
Dirty Jokes About Relationships
- Why do couples never go to the gym together?
Because relationships don’t work out! - What do you call a couple who fights all the time?
A match made in hell. - What’s the best part about being in a long-term relationship?
You can stop sucking in your stomach. - Why do some men bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house. - What did one boob say to the other boob?
“You’re my breast friend.”